Uncommon Path Network

Dear Path Finder,

I pray you find your purposeful path, walk audaciously in it, and inspire others to find theirs too.

Next month, on the 13th of September, I’ll be turning what I’ve been calling a “terrifying age.” But I had to pause and ask myself: why terrifying?

Somewhere along the way, I picked up this idea that by 28 I should have a certain life neatly packaged and displayed. Marriage. Children. Businesses. Properties. Travels. If I had all those things, maybe this birthday wouldn’t feel so heavy. But because I don’t, the number suddenly feels like a mirror reflecting what I haven’t achieved, rather than what I have.

And isn’t that the way society traps us? We begin to measure ourselves by calendars and checklists instead of by growth, grace, or the unique fingerprints of God’s timing.

I was never someone who worried about age. I could say how old I was without any weight. But at 27, that shifted. Suddenly, when I introduced myself and said my age, I felt a knot in my stomach. Why? Because the 21-year-old version of me had painted a picture of what life at 27 would look like, and my reality didn’t match.

In my mind, 27-year-old Oyena was married, had two children, ran two or three businesses, owned a few properties, and had travelled the world. Instead, when I said “27,” I felt panic. I chose to see only the dreams I hadn’t achieved and ignored all of God’s goodness in my life.

But here’s the truth: comparison is a thief, no matter what side you’re on. I’ve spoken to married friends who feel inadequate because they don’t own cars or homes. Imagine if I tried to tell them, “You shouldn’t feel that way because, at least you’re married.” They could easily reply, “Well, you shouldn’t feel behind either, because you became a CA by 26 and had a car at 25.” That doesn’t sound right, does it?

And yet, this is exactly how society trains us to measure ourselves, by a biased system that leaves everyone feeling behind at some point.

Taking away the timeline isn’t about becoming complacent. It’s about releasing the weight of competition and embracing gratitude for your own complex, individual journey.

I’ve achieved so much already, far more than I give myself credit for, not just tangible success but also relationally and spiritually. The list is long. I’ll save that celebration for my 30th birthday in 2027 (you’re invited ).

For now, my encouragement to you is this:

• Drop the weight from your shoulders.
• Stop benchmarking yourself against peers, social media, or “what people will say.”
• Trust the Author of your life, who has everything under control and doesn’t need your help to speed up the process.
• Allow God to refine you into the person He envisioned when He created you.

Own pace. Own journey. Marked for purpose.

Imagine if we all lived the same lives? How boring would that be! Everyone is carrying something unseen, and many have chosen not to be defined by circumstances but to fully enjoy their lives.

Protect your peace: step away from environments and people that make you forget how far you’ve come and how good God has been. And if you need to start over, do it. As many times as you need to.

You are unique. You are incredible. You are dearly loved by God.

Live from that truth, and life becomes lighter, freer, easier.

When we untie our milestones from age, every birthday becomes a celebration, not a deadline.

What is one thing you’ve been struggling to accept? If you’re comfortable, share it with me, and we can pray over it together.

Shalom,
Oyena