Uncommon Path Network

”Why do you suddenly find it so difficult to give your heart fully to anything, even to God? The One who created you, who knows you from beginning to end. Yet sometimes even before Him we hide, perform, and guard ourselves.

May the scars of a passing season never become the doctrine that governs your future.”

Dear Path Finder,

I pray you find your purposeful path, walk audaciously in it, and inspire others to find theirs too.

*This is one of those lengthy newsletters 🙂 with announcements at the end*

Since I have been away for the past two weeks, it is only fair that I check in with you about how I am doing.

A few days ago my Mom’fundisi asked me this very question. I struggled to find the right words, not because I wanted to lie, but because I wanted to sound okay. It took me about a day and a half before I responded with what was supposed to be a one–minute voice note that began with my usual disclaimer:

“I promise this voice note won’t be long.”

Five minutes later, “So anyway, as I was saying”

Those who know me well know that I am guilty of this. This is why I prefer calls over texting, at least then I do not have to apologise for talking for an hour.

So, how am I doing? I am doing well. Maybe, okay.

January felt like two things at once, a test from hell, determined to break me beyond repair, and a test from heaven, designed to test the foundations of my faith.

A scripture that grounded me during this season was:

“If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?” Jeremiah 12:5

He equips us for every season. What feels hard and overwhelming to us is often an invitation to strengthen our frame. Where God is taking us, and the weight He will one day trust us with, will require more than resilience. It will require grit, endurance, and a faith that has been tested.

But perhaps we should not unpack everything here just yet.

If you didn’t know, Uncommon Path Network releases quarterly resource guides. Our first resource will be published next month. And no, it will not be an e-book. You will be able to hold it in your hands and place it on your bookshelf. I may be a little old school, but I still believe there is something sacred about reading from a handbook rather than a screen.

For now, let’s briefly unpack the offering of today’s article.

Truthfully, I struggled to put pen to paper for this one. Not because I am afraid of vulnerability, but because I find myself in the middle, and thickness, of a transition I did not see coming.

For the most part, I can sense when change is approaching. I may not always know how it will affect me, but at least I am mentally prepared for the season of transition I am about to enter.

Most of us are not fond of change. Once we settle into a routine, it becomes our safest place. Anything that interferes with that safety net often leaves us feeling unsettled and uneasy.

Yet some transitions do not ask for our permission before they arrive. They come unannounced, and we have no choice but to face them head-on. These are the seasons where circumstances overwhelm us, or where we learn to lean more deeply on the Lord as we walk through the valley.

The transitions and pivots you have encountered, have they left a residue of pain, bitterness, or unforgiveness within you?

Yes, you have grown. Yes, you now do things differently. And yes, people have had to adjust to this new version of you.

We respect that.

But my sincere question to you is this, what shaped that change?

What influenced the person you have become? Can you truly recognize yourself? What now influences your decisions?

Why do you suddenly find it so difficult to give your heart fully to anything, even to God? The One who created you, who knows you from beginning to end. Yet sometimes even before Him we hide, perform, and guard ourselves.

What if the transition you went through, a season filled with pain and disappointment, left a scar that now presents itself as ‘growth’?

Sometimes we forget that when we walk through the valley, the ground beneath us is rough. It strains our ankles. The branches along the path scratch our arms as we pass through. Yes, we make it to the other side. But rarely do we stop to ask ourselves what scars we carried out with us.

These quiet scars begin to shape new beliefs, new doctrines, new ways of doing life. They influence our perceptions, and eventually our actions.

Are you truly not serving at church because you are waiting on God for direction, or are you avoiding being hurt by believers again?

Do you genuinely believe friendships are not for you, or did someone once mishandle the heart you entrusted to them?

Are you truly shy, or were remarks made about your bold personality, your confidence, that slowly taught you to shrink yourself?

Are you fearful of pursuing your purpose, or did a moment where you tried to do something for God (instead of with God) leave you feeling disappointed and unseen?

Are you concerned about doing the right thing, or are you afraid that you might not receive the validation and recognition you hoped for?

How have the unhealed scars of past transitions shaped the way you now think, lead, and do life?

This article is not written to shame you. But perhaps it is meant to lovingly confront the false narratives we sometimes allow to shape our identity, narratives that create a protective but limiting reality around us.

My humble desire is this, that you would return to that place in your heart where the wound first formed. The place that quietly influences your decisions. Face it honestly. Surrender it to the Lord. And allow Him to heal what you once learned to simply live with.

When you were without a job, you felt like no one was there for you during that transition.

When you got married, you assumed your friends no longer loved you because they could not show up the way you hoped they would.

When you left your old church, false narratives were shared about you, and you never had the opportunity to clear the rumours. The very people you once called brothers and sisters in the Lord did not reach out.

When you pursued entrepreneurship, the people who promised support were suddenly nowhere to be found.

If these scars remain ignored and unhealed, we risk bleeding on the very people who love us. We mishandle the people we were actually called to love, serve, and lead.

May the scars of a passing season never become the doctrine that governs your future.

Announcements

• Lighthouse Mentorship will be hosting a world-class masterclass next week. You do not want to miss it! The registration link can be found on Bethel House Foundation’s LinkedIn and Instagram pages.
• I am going to Cape Town next week Monday – Any CPT-based Path Finders?
• Your sister here is beginning her Master’s journey this year, please celebrate with me
• We need to meet, don’t you think? Let’s host our first Uncommon Path gathering at the beginning of May 2026. Let me know if you’re keen and we will set it up. Yes, Uncommon Path gatherings are coming to Cape Town, Durban, and Mpumalanga! (Did I leave out your city? Let me know!)

Shalom,
Oyena

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