Uncommon Path Network

Dear Path Finder,

I pray you find your purposeful path, walk audaciously in it, and inspire others to find theirs too.

There’s often a mismatch between how people perceive us and how we see ourselves. I think about this often and if I’m honest, I sometimes want to laugh when people tell me how inspired they are by me. The young, the old, they say it with conviction, and I stand there a bit stunned.

Not because I think I’m unworthy or insecure. It’s not about confidence. It’s just… I don’t always see myself the way others do.

Yesterday I went to watch one of my best friends play netball. The match started at 18:15 and, as a recovering latecomer, I arrived just a few minutes into the game (we thank God for growth!). She’s a true star on the court. In my big boots and green trench coat, I cheered her on, and my heart lit up each time she came over during short breaks to wave or chat for a few seconds.

After the game, we stood in the parking lot talking for almost an hour and a half. We were just… catching up. Talking about how good God is. Trusting Him, the reward of obedience, how deeply we desire that others would taste His goodness too. Then, the conversation shifted.

She looked at me and began affirming me. Telling me how much I inspire her. How she sees the way I carry myself and how it moves her. How she’s watched me grow and wants to stay close to what God is doing in and through me.

My first instinct? Deflect. Talk about anything else. Because deep down, I felt like I haven’t become all that I thought I would be by now.

But then in the middle of her speaking, I heard a gentle whisper in my spirit:
“Sit in this moment. Don’t rush past it. Receive it.”

So I did. I let her words wash over me without filtering them through the lens of “what I haven’t done yet.”

On the drive to meet another one of my best friends for dinner (at this point it’s clear I don’t do life without my girls I’ve truly been blessed with friendships that anchor me), the Lord began to minister something to my heart:

“You need to see yourself well.”

Because the truth is, when someone tells me I’ve impacted them, I often want to disqualify their experience. I immediately remember all the private areas of my life that feel unfinished or unpolished and I assume their view of me must be distorted.

At 27, I thought I’d be running a thriving 2-year-old business. Living in a beautiful home. Raising two babies. Cooking for my husband. Running big projects. Healing, interceding, preaching, imparting… and everything in between.

So when someone says, “You’re such an inspiration,” I filter it through a lens of what hasn’t happened yet. And that lens makes me feel small.

But here’s what I’m learning (and maybe you need to hear this too):
Success isn’t only what we achieve outwardly. We are not defined by unfinished checklists.

None of the great things I’ve done & been to people can be listed on a CV. But they are fruit. They are evidence of a life being lived with purpose.

We are versatile human beings. More than just the visible milestones. More than our delays, detours, or desired timelines.

So let me gently ask you:

Will you stop defining yourself by what you haven’t achieved, and start seeing your journey through the lens of God’s hand over your life?

Audit the way you see yourself.
And at every glance, may you find pride not in perfection, but in progress and peace in the God who’s been walking with you all along.

Shalom,
Oyena